International Ghost Investigators: Hollywood Division (Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor)

International Ghost Investigators: Hollywood Division airs on the Audience network and stars David Anthony Higgins and Paul Greenberg.  It's a very funny show, and in this episode, David and Paul lend their expertise to Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor (who I love...Ben is one of my favorite actors, and I've been a fan of Christine since Hey Dude).

Paul is photocopying his ass when David gets a call from Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor, so they decide to go to  New York to help them out.  Ben says the landscapers are freaked out by what's been going on and asks if Paul and David have a certificate to show the landscapers, so they'll start working again; they tell Ben that they can't give him the certificate until they do an investigation.  Christine says that when she was getting the house ready for their guest Desmond Tutu, she put some cartons of ice cream on the table and turned around to look in a cabinet; when she turned back around, the cartons were "stacked like a pyramid.  Ben says that one of the gardeners ran up to him one day, yelling and pointing at the lawn mower, which was mowing the lawn by itself.  Christine adds that their housekeeper once saw the vacuum move across the room on its own.  David takes out an ovilus ("ghost talker") and tries to communicate with the spirits in the house; he asks them to make themselves known, and the phrase "bowling ball" comes from the ovilus.  He asks the spirits if they've been bothering the gardeners, and the word "leprechaun" is heard.  David asks why the spirits are there, and the answer is "penis."  Worse words follow, so David throws the ovilus outside.  Christine says that Carlos, one of the gardeners, told her that he once felt like he was "being dragged into the bowels of Hell" in the yard.

Paul and David decide to investigate the yard, but first Ben catches them eating spaghetti on the bed; Paul spills his and has to change his shorts, so he borrows a pair of Ben's underwear.  David finds a tree that he thinks is a "witch trap" and some stacked rocks that he also thinks are a "sign of witches."  The stacks fall down, and David runs off; he finds Paul standing in the corner of a shack, just like The Blair Witch Project (except Paul is peeing).  They find what could be the "portal to Hell" and decide to enter through the mist-filled doorway.  

David and Paul tell Ben and Christine that they have "ghost squatters" and show them the video they took after they entered the portal; it's a "time portal to a cemetery in 1890" in St. Louis.  David says that he talked to the head gardener in the portal, and that he told David that his gardeners would be willing to mow Ben and Christine's yard.  Problem solved!

This was my third episode of International Ghost Investigators: Hollywood Division, and it was my favorite so far. If you have Directv, check this show out!

My rating: 10/10

https://www.directv.com/tv/International-Ghost-Investigators-Hollywood-Division-K3pnYnpaYlNNenVGby9GckxSaXJvUT09

200th post!

I started this blog in the summer of 2013 after I went to the Roswell UFO Festival, and a year and a half later, the blog has been viewed almost 25,000 times, and I'm writing my 200th blog post. I thought it would be fun to link back to some of the posts I've written for anyone who may be new to the blog or anyone who may have just missed them.

This is the post that started it all: Roswell...finally!

http://paranormalcrystal.blogspot.com/2013/07/in-1982-i-went-to-movie-theater-for.html

This is my favorite movie review I've written for the blog: Ghost Shark

http://paranormalcrystal.blogspot.com/2013/10/movie-spotlight-ghost-shark.html

And my favorite book (well, graphic novel) review: Afterlife with Archie: Escape from Riverdale

http://paranormalcrystal.blogspot.com/2014/06/afterlife-with-archie-escape-from.html

These are my 5 most-viewed posts:

#5: International Ghost Investigators: Hollywood Division
http://paranormalcrystal.blogspot.com/2014/04/international-ghost-investigators.html

#4: The Haunting of Giancarlo Esposito
 http://paranormalcrystal.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-haunting-ofgiancarlo-esposito.html

#3: Paranormal Witness: Hollywood Sign Haunting; The Good Skeleton
http://paranormalcrystal.blogspot.com/2013/08/paranormal-witness-hollywood-sign.html

#2: My Haunted House: The Sorority Sister and the Secret Room
http://paranormalcrystal.blogspot.com/2014/07/my-haunted-house-sorority-sister-and.html

#1: When Ghosts Attack: There's No Place Like Hell
http://paranormalcrystal.blogspot.com/2013/11/when-ghosts-attack-theres-no-place-like.html

When I started this blog, I thought that only my friends and family would be reading it, so I'm thrilled that it's been viewed thousands of times by people all over the world.  Thanks to everyone who has been reading it! : )

International Ghost Investigators: Hollywood Division (Jenny McCarthy)

I watched my first episode of International Ghost Investigators: Hollywood Division (a parody about paranormal investigators that airs on the Audience network) a few months ago, and I loved it, so I decided to write about another episode...this time David Anthony Higgins and Paul Greenberg help Jenny McCarthy with her poltergeist problems.  The episode begins with  Dave and Anthony arriving at Jenny's house, which was built in 1958 and has a history of actresses being bothered by a "frisky" spirit.  Dave says that  he heard Jenny was having a problem with an "amorous apparition," and  Jenny says she doesn't know what either of those words mean.  Paul explains it, and Jenny tells them that she rented the house because she knew women who had lived there and had sex with the ghost that haunts the place.  Jenny says she'd like to do the same thing, but she wants to know what the ghost looks like because she doesn't sleep with ugly people.  She also wants the guys to find out if ghost semen is invisible because she "just paid a lot for this hair and doesn't want to ruin it."

Jenny takes Paul and Dave into the kitchen, where Paul gives her a mixed CD that she later destroys.  She tells them that the first time she encountered the spirit, she was putting dishes in the cabinet when she felt a presence "doing something to [her] from behind."  Jenny takes issue with the reenactment of her story because she does not in fact wear a French maid outfit when she unloads the dishwasher.  Paul takes some radiation readings, while Dave takes pictures (mostly of Paul).  Later Jenny walks past the bathroom and is disgusted to see Dave sitting on the toilet while Paul takes radiation readings; she snaps a picture on her cell phone, then walks away.  They tell Jenny that they have evidence of a spirit and are close to figuring out who it is, so Dave suggests that they try Spirit Drawing, which involves hypnotizing Paul and letting the spirit take over his body and draw himself (literally) through Paul.  Dave hypnotizes Paul, and Paul immediately falls onto Jenny's breasts.  Paul draws a portrait while hypnotized, and Dave says the ghost is Raoul Demarco, an Argentinian polo player who "drowned in the pool, along with his polo pony."  Dave shows Jenny a photo of Raoul and says that he slept with Clara Bow and Joan Crawford, and Jenny is happy about the identity of her ghost.  The guys leave some recording equipment "for scientific purposes," and it catches Jenny being visited by her ghostly lover; she says she "didn't feel violated, [she] felt elated."  The next morning, Jenny opens her curtains, and Paul and Dave run screaming out of her closet, wearing night vision goggles, which apparently aren't "so good with direct sunlight" and cause temporary blindness.  Dave says, "In answer to Jenny's other question, it is invisible."

International Ghost Investigators: Hollywood Division is a great show, and if you want to watch a paranormal show that won't scare the crap out of you, this is the show for you!

My rating: 9/10

International Ghost Investigators: Hollywood Division (Laraine Newman and Dave Foley)

International Ghost Investigators: Hollywood Division is a parody about paranormal investigators that airs on the Audience network.  The show stars David Anthony Higgins (who you might remember from Malcolm in the Middle) and Paul Greenberg, and in the episode I watched, they help Laraine Newman and Dave Foley with some supernatural problems.  David is excited to assist Laraine Newman because he's a fan of her work, and Paul is excited because he thinks she wrote the song "Short People."  When Laraine meets David and Paul at her studio, she assumes that David is a "D and D shut-in" and that Paul is a "simpleton" and wonders why they look nothing like the pictures on their website.  David explains that Paul's mother has dial-up, and they "don't know how to upload pictures."  Laraine tells the guys that she doesn't believe in the paranormal, but some really scary things have been happening there.  Laraine says that one time she was eating a sandwich when the closet door opened and closed by itself...and when she went back to her sandwich, the meat had turned from turkey into ham!  Another time she saw a ball bounce down the stairs and heard the laughter of a child, who then said, "I'm gonna kill you."  David suggests that they do a smudging ceremony, which involves a shaman burning sage and is "mostly bullshit," according to Paul.  Paul leaves to get the shaman, but it turns out Randy is out of town, so he brings a new "Randy," who smells like pee.  David and Paul conduct an EVP session, then find Randy dead in the bathroom with a needle in his arm, so they wrap him up in a rug and tell Lorraine the rug is cursed as they're leaving with the body.

Odd things have been happening on the set of Dave Foley's newest project, and David has found out that an actress died there in the 1940s.  Paul seems antsy and says it's because he itches where his genitals were shaved when he had his wisdom teeth removed (and I thought I had a bad experience when I got my mine out...).  Dave says he once saw a woman's reflection in the mirror, but when he turned around, no one was there.  Dave tells David and Paul that one day when he came out of the kitchen, the room directly outside of the kitchen was full of furniture...and it had been completely empty before he went into the kitchen.  Dave shows them to the elevator and says that one night when he was in the building alone, he was on the elevator and saw a woman in blue on the staircase; when the elevator reached its destination, Dave ran up the stairs, but could not find the woman.  David and Paul begin to investigate; Paul is stuck in the dark and screams for David and Dave, while David enters a room that has a bed in it and has sex with what he suspects is the ghost of the starlet who died in the building decades ago.  David and Paul tell Dave that the set is haunted but that he doesn't need to worry about the spirit; a blonde woman joins them, and Dave introduces them to his wife...who turns out to be the woman David thought was a ghost.

International Ghost Investigators: Hollywood Division is one of the more entertaining paranormal shows I've watched; I normally watch shows about real-life encounters, but I wish there were more shows like this one...I love comedy, and this show is pretty damn funny.

My rating: 9/10